Reflections 21/40: Letting Go

Still have a bit of a hangover from my 15-minute “guesting” on Sunday about Letting Go. It’s not like I was on Oprah or something but more than feeling like a celebrity, I never really thought that I’d be able to share one of the most painful experiences I’ve had online and live. I won’t lie that there was a time where I’ve dreamed about it because I knew that this story could really help people going through the same thing, but I never really thought it would come true.

I know that I was able to share the story already in one of my blog posts, but I guess speaking about it to a live audience is still different. And it’s a wonderful feeling how someone has already affirmed me that they have been blessed by the story. But I know that this wasn’t all me. This was how God meant it to be.

Many of us, single men and women, dream of being with our one true love someday and hope to start a family, and I know I am one of them. A couple of years ago, I was almost going to make that dream come true. But things did not work out and after contemplating for several months, I had to let go. I had to let go of that person and the dream. Even when I couldn’t understand, I knew something was wrong, and letting go was the right thing to do because God assured me so. It really was one of the most painful experiences I’ve had to go through, but everything made sense in the end.

In that experience, God really taught me that the only thing more valuable and greater than anything in the world was Him. He was greater than the plan I had for myself. He was greater than the fear that I felt. He told me to surrender and following Him was no definitely not a mistake. When I let go, all my other dreams came true. Maybe they were not related to my dream of finding the one and having a family, but they were still my dreams and it made me experience true joy.

And after years of just working on myself and spending time on other things, God finally gave me my lifelong partner. The ironic thing was that when I met him, I didn’t even pray for it. I was in the middle of enjoying my single life and the blessings that God had given me. But when I met him, I knew I was ready because God made sure of it. 🙂

Reflections 20/40: Honesty

One of the most difficult things that one could ever do is be honest. While it is true that “honesty is the best policy”, it can bring all sorts of emotions, especially pain. It can hurt one’s ego or pride, when admitting mistakes and shortcomings reluctantly, and it can also bring guilt and shame when one decides to dwell on it.

But sometimes, people forget that being honest can also bring freedom and peace. When one keeps a secret for someone or for himself or when one pretends to be someone they are not in order to please people, being honest or true to one’s self and finally speaking up and saying the truth becomes a liberating experience.

At the end of the day, no matter the situation, it all boils down to perspective. Are you struggling with something right now? Just be honest and choose to see the better perspective.

Sunday Prayer #9: Crossroads

Dear God,

When we find ourselves at a crossroad, help us to let go of control and allow You to take over. Help us to remember that You alone can lead us to the right path. Even if we don’t understand now how things are going to turn out, increase our faith and trust in You.

Amen.

Reflections: 18/40

Practicing what you preach is not as easy as what everyone thinks. You can know as much as you can and share it to the world, but it doesn’t mean that it’s because you find it easy that you’re sharing it, especially when it comes to doing the right thing. Sometimes it just means that you’re very knowledgeable or you have been given a gift that needs to be shared to the world. So for someone who “preaches” and fights the struggles of temptation, being able to walk the talk is a big achievement and a constant and humbling reminder that he or she is still an imperfect human being.

So I guess my realization for today is that whether a person is in the spotlight or is just living low key, just remember to not judge them because they are as human as anyone can be.

Reflections: 17/40

Dear God,

Today I pray for courage and discernment. I pray for the courage to face the truth that You have been showing me and the gift of discernment to differentiate between being fearful and being careful and wise. I believe that the answer is right in front of me, but what is holding me back is this thinking that this might not be the right time yet to make this important decision. I pray that I could become more brave in trusting this revelation and the fact that I know You will take care of me no matter what happens.

Amen.

Reflections: 16/40

I have just been going about my usual day today when I realized that we are now in the month of March, which means my birthday is coming up soon! 🙂

Of course, with the pandemic still in our midst, I haven’t really thought about having any kind of celebration but having a nice meal would be enough to make it special. I also figured that being pre-occupied with all the work stuff and going ahead with the preparations for the wedding, I’d have enough to keep me busy in both during the weekdays and in the weekend.

But then I realized that maybe God has so much more in store for me. Without immediately noticing, I have said yes to serving in the different events of the community, something that hasn’t happened in a very long time. I must have missed it so much that I immediately said yes, and I am just realizing now that they all happen to fall within this month of March. Instead of panicking though and thinking about the many things that I will have to do, I actually felt excited.

I wonder what God is trying to tell me with these events. Has he got a wonderful surprise for me? A gift? A message? Whatever it may be, I sure feel giddy because of this unexpected but most wonderful surprise. Serving in itself is already a gift. And being able to do so during this season of Lent and in my birth month is even more special. I can only pray that I keep my eyes, mind, and heart wide open so that I may be able to receive fully His grace and love during one of the most special moments in my life.

Reflections: 15/40

Sometimes, there is great value in just letting loose and going with the flow. Many years ago, I was a rigid person who liked everything to be organized and scheduled. So when things didn’t go according to plan, I would be filled with anxiety and frustration. So in order to deal with unpleasant emotions that don’t really help with the situation, I’ve had to learn how to let go and let God. I also try to distract myself with other things that are completely different from the source of my frustration so that I can calm down, and eventually deal with the problem at hand with a clearer and relaxed mind.

One of the things that help me deal with such instances is music. And so in one of the times that I wasn’t feeling well, I was checking out music videos on YouTube randomly and found this Gospel artist and was instantly hooked. By the end of the video, I was feeling all better with a smile on my face. If you are in the same boat, I hope that this video will put a smile on your face too. 🙂

Reflections: 14/40

Nothing beats that feeling you get when you are well-prepared for what’s about to happen, get a little bit nervous right before, but everything eventually goes according to plan. It makes it even more special when you’ve spent the previous months so stressed out, anxious, and frustrated because everything seemed to be going wrong. Today, I got that big sense of relief after a meeting. When I thought I would be bombarded with so many questions, I was so relieved that it didn’t drag, I was able to address the questions and concerns, and the meeting ended well…and peacefully.

Things have not been easy these past few months, and I have only been able to catch up on my work since last week. I realized that I have been in denial most of the time, thinking that it was simple and easy, and that I could do it on my own. But I got so caught up in that thought that I lost focus, and perhaps that was the only way that God could reach me. He had to work hard to remind me that I don’t have to carry all of this on my own. So I surrendered, lifted up everything to Him. I started to pray more and more, and things started to fall into place.

I know that this is just one of those ordinary days and one of those stories, but sometimes we take it for granted and forget that they ever happened. Writing this down will forever remind me, that God works not just in the big things, but also in the littlest things. I just have to seek Him and remember that when I don’t know what to do, I always have Him.

Reflections: 13/40

There is a whole new week ahead of me and I am just so thankful that after a very productive week last week, I am able to continue my momentum today. I have a renewed sense of motivation, not to mention that I was able to relax and take care of personal things over the weekend instead of spending all my time and energy catching up with work. Yes, I still have a lot to do and things to take care of, but now I am able to breathe, knowing that I have a better control of my time and that I am more prepared to deal with what lies ahead.

Thank you, Lord for reminding me that my worth does not come from or depend on what people say. I am worthy and I am good enough. I believe this because You said so. Amen.